It was in college. Perhaps sometime during my senior year.
I had participated in Take Back the Night for all the previous years in school, and it really helped me build up the courage to tell my parents. If I was able to speak about my experience to hundreds of strangers, I should be able to talk to my own parents, right? Well...it took me a long time.
I wanted to participate in Take Back the Night one last time with an update about my progress...not for the listeners...but for me...
I thought a lot about the implications. What does this mean to my family? How will my parents react? What will happen to my younger cousins, the sons of the uncle?
I had no idea.
There is no perfect situation. I just had to build up the courage, and just start the sentence.
I told my parents while my dad was driving. They were visiting me in Northern California, and we just dropped off my then-boyfriend back at his dorm. I was going to stay the night with them at a hotel in Oakland or San Francisco...I don't remember where it was exactly.
At first I thought, perhaps I should wait until we're not driving? I don't want my dad to swerve in anger. But, when I finally let it all out, I think they were in a state of shock.
I don't remember much about the conversation. My parents had a lot of questions. At some point at the hotel, my dad expressed how angry he was. They suggested that I speak with a counselor at school. But, more than anything, I think they needed to really think about the whole situation....similar to the things I had to think about.
What does this mean to the family? Have others in our family been affected as well? What will happen to my younger cousins, the sons of the uncle?
But, for me, I was glad to have that burden of carrying it around off my chest. My parents were now able to share in my emotions and support me.
Though...they also needed support of their own.
My dad sought it out among his co-workers - nurses, social workers, etc.
My mom....well...I'm not sure...I know she relies on my dad's support.
It felt great to be open with them.
But this was the just beginning of opening up to the family.
