Consultations

After discussing my aunt's ideas with my therapist, I realized that I actually have a friend who works with the Department of Children and Family Services - with offices that happen to be a block away from my parent's house.

I have a friend who works there.  Interestingly, she was one of the first people I had told about the uncle.

I asked her about what would actually happen if I were to report my situation to DCFS. 

She told me that because there is still a minor living within the household, that a full investigation would occur that would include an interview with the child.  She also told me that it wouldn't necessarily yield any sort of wanted results.  It still wouldn't mean that the uncle would be required to register as a sex offender.

I still feel like I should be the one my relatives hear from first.  Well, I or one of my other relatives who know.

It's really been difficult to explain to others how difficult it is to be the only one responsible for this.  I know I can't change it or even expect that others will help me carry some of the burden. 

So then, why am I not allowed to do this the way I want to do it?  I know what's "right."  But why can't I do what I know is right the way and the pace that I want to do it?

Biding My Time

Sometimes...

It feels like everyone is pushing me to make a move...

It's a lot of responsibility, you know.

Not only do I have to validate how everyone is feeling about MY situation, but I also have the responsibility of messing up everyone else's life.

Every step I take, someone else's life will be in upheaval.

But I'm not supposed to wait, I'm not supposed to think about how my actions will affect my younger cousins' lives.  I'm just supposed to do it, and let them deal with it. 

And in some people's eyes, it's all to make sure the uncle gets what he deserves.

But that's not what it is for me.  It's still about protecting the future.

But I can't protect the future and expect that I won't tear things down at the same time.

I don't want to validate anyone else's issues anymore.

Let me just figure this out...I'll make my move in due time.