90th birhdays and family reunions

This past weekend, I went home.

My maternal grandmother, my Lola, celebrated her 90th birthday. She celebrated with family. My family. 5 of her 12 children were present.

Including my mom's youngest sister. She brought her 3 sons. But the uncle was not present.

At first, I thought that perhaps he would be there, and we would all act normal and peachy keen. But after learning that he wasn't coming to the party, not only did I feel relieved but I wondered what excuse they used this time.

I was already starting to tell my story to some of my cousins, and I was explicitly told not to say anything until after the party.

But there was a point...when I was driving one set of aunt/uncle/cousin/niece back to our house...my cousin said, "Oh! Where's ________?" Everyone said, "Oh..ya..where is he?" I kept driving...and I thought, "I could really just tell them exactly why he isn't here." But, I didn't want to say anything to my mom's sister or my teenage niece.

So, I said nothing.

silent again.

silent all these years.